Prizes are still random, but you’re guaranteed to get a pair of tanuki balls. You always have to be prepared for a certain amount of randomness when buying something from Japan’s gacha/capsule toy mac

Prizes are still random, but you’re guaranteed to get a pair of tanuki balls.

You always have to be prepared for a certain amount of randomness when buying something from Japan’s** gacha/capsule toy machines**, but if you want to limit the amount of uncertainty, there are ways to do so. One of the easiest techniques is to look for a machine that, rather than offering variation-on-a-theme lineups like canned-goods Sanrio characters or classic anime VHS cases, is instead stocked with a single design that comes in a variety of colors. For example, with the items we’re looking at today, even if you won’t know ahead of time which hue you’ll be getting, you can say, with complete certainty, that you will be getting a set of testicles to play with.

OK, we should probably explain the rich cultural legacy behind those gigantic balls. The critter that they’re attached to is a tanuki, or raccoon dog. Tanuki are some of the most adorable wildlife you’ll encounter in Japan, with their roly-poly physiques and fluffy tails, but for most people, the first anatomic element that comes to mind when they think of tanuki are their testicles.

As you can see (or actually can’t see) in the above photo, actual tanuki don’t have scrotums that account for the majority of their body mass. Tanuki balls figure prominently, though, within folklore and artwork. According to legend, tanuki are skilled shapeshifters, and their testicles often play a role in the transformation process. Tanuki balls are also considered signs of prosperity, which is why you’ll find tanuki statues outside many noodle restaurants in Japan, and all of them will have massive balls.

So with Japan having been fascinated with tanuki testicles for centuries, Tokyo-based capsule toy maker Tarlin has figured “Hey, we should give the people tanuki testicle capsule toys!”

And make no mistake, the designers are fully aware that people are going to be squeezing these things, as the line is called Momimomi Tanukin, with momimomi meaning “squeezy” and Tanukin being a mashup of tanuki and kintama (“testicles”). Actually, the official name for the line is Momimomi Tanukin 2, as this is the second time for Tarlin to offer such items. For round two, they’ve dialed up the top-end intensity on the range of colors. While the above brown version more or less fits with the animals’ real-world coloring, and the white one at least looks like it could be some sort of imaginary snow tanuki, it’s harder to speculate on what the natural habitat of the electric blue Momimomi Tanukin would be.

And while trinkets in traditionally girly colors do tend to be quite popular in Japan, the hue for the last of the four available models can also look rather, well, fleshy.

Like its predecessor series, Momimomi Tanukin 2 is recommended only for tanuki testicle fans age 8 and up, and comes with a choking warning (though that’s also implied by their name being “Squeezy Tanuki Testicles,” not “Bitey Tanuki Testicles”). They’re priced at 400 yen (US$2.60) per figure, and should be showing up in capsule toy vending machines as of this month.